Spring illness

Hi all, you know it has been awhile since I posted when I can't remember my own blog site. :/ I always think of posting and wanting to share with you all many of Jackson's great milestones but then life gets busy and I'm in bed way earlier than I usually plan. But today is different, I do have some "extra" time as we find ourselves once again in the hospital.. . It really is difficult to go from doing so well (Jackson health wise) to being on oxygen and admitted in a quick amount of time.

Jackson has come down with what looks like pneumonia. It started as an ear infection and led to a nasty cough w/ the requirement of oxygen within hours. He is always such a good sport but this admit was particularly difficult. I think he definitely understands what the word "hospital" entails, as great as the staff has been in the past and the miracles that have happened here, it is still just the word that can cause a small thorn in your side. While waiting to get things rolling in the ER, Jax was crying "Mom, me home now" very loudly and with gusto .. this lasted for about an hour and broke my heart piece by piece. Eric and I tried every negotiating tool we could but he was on a mission to go home. I absolutely hate to see this little guy go through more illnesses. Sorry to utilize the blog as a venting place but tonight that is what I'm doing.. sigh. I'm running on approx. 3 hours of sleep over the course of 48 hrs, I think I'm border line zombie at this point.

It is hard and I feel the same old anxious feelings coming out of my bones.. as many times as we have done "this", you would think I would have it down pat. That is not the case. I can admit that I'm not good at the hospital/illness life and it brings me to a negative place. I'm trying to get better at "this" and maybe one day I will.. but until then I continue to be reminded of how resilient and strong Jackson is, he is one of a kind. I also have to praise his brother. Brendan is nothing short of a wonderful big brother and supportive kiddo. The older he gets the more sense all this makes to him and he really does his part to make this situation more bearable for everyone.

I have been following a blog recently and it was written by a very courageous mother of four who had terminal cancer. She passed away this week and we send many prayers to her sweet family. She really focused on finding grace and Jesus, even in the difficult times.  I found grace today and thought of how precious her words are.. we had a visit from an elderly gentleman who is a volunteer at Children's Hospital, as he walked in the room he could tell Jackson wasn't feeling up to par and asked if he could tell him a story.. Jackson quickly said yes and the man told him the story of the Ugly Duckling.. he reminded Jackson that no matter how different we are there is always something beautiful about us and not to listen to the negative things but focus on the positive. It was really touching and reminded me that even in the difficult times there are signs of beauty.

Thank you to all of you who are still following this blog. Again, I apologize to write in the difficult times but I promise to post some of the great times soon.  Please pray, our almighty Team Jax, for quick healing for Jackson.

With love,
Tina